I've got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one

So I'm listening to that Jay-Z song right now and thought it would be an appropriate title for this post. FIRSTLY (yep not sure if thats a word) I want to take accountablity for my previous posts. I SHOULD NOT have generalized about the mods (some of them have been horrible to me but some have been quite nice) nor should I have instructed people to contact them. I was simply hurt, fed up and frusterated by the entire situation and while I stand by the message I was trying to send I do think there could have been a better way to go about it. With that in mind, I am absolutly disgusted and appalled by the comments people posted on my previous entry. Weesha_Caroid or whatever your name is: stop. You are only making yourself look bad and it's funny because all the psycho-babble bullshit you assumed about me could NOT be farther from the truth. Everyone who knows me can verify that. I can only assume those accusations you made about my "low self esteem" etc were projections of your own shortcomings because I have done NOTHING to indicate that I am the person you seem to think I am.

In other news, the move is going ehh...I'll just say it's going. I'm very stressed out at the moment because I'm trying to finish up 3 of my classes by next week so I can still graduate on time. For my other classes I'm going to do this distance-learning option they have where I communicate with the professor and TA via sykpe and submit my work through email. However for the final exam I will have to come back to Nashville to take it in person. Not thrilled about it but family comes first and my sister needs me to move to where she is. If you haven't already, check my newest youtube video if you want more of an explanation of the bullshit, my move and life in general. Thats all for now folks but I;ll post a legit entry later (ideally one that makes more sense).

I'm being kicked off FF

Because they have "reason to suspect I'm not 18 and if I don't forward them my birth certificate" (meaning disclosing my real name) they'll cancel my account. This is bullshit. They just want me off that site. If you are a true supporter of me and what I'm trying to do please contact a moderator and give them a piece of your mind. They've been giving me hell since day 1 and unless someone speaks up on my behalf don't expect to see any more of my pics or vids on there. Or anywhere for that matter.

I'm leaving FF

You can thank the moderators for that. I will post the message they sent me on here as soon as I can. Aparently there is a rule against frequent updating. I'm tired of being the target of peoples hatred. In the past week I've been told to stop posting, told I was a joke basically that guys just use to jack off to (a moderator said that), told I was a liar, accused of being a boy and told I was too ugly to ever be a model. I joined FF because I have a thyroid condition that made me gain weight and was very self-conscious. My ex thought that FF would help make me feel better about myself. And it did, for a while. But now everyday theres something or someone on there that makes me feel like crap. So I'm leaving FF unless I get an appology from the mods. Which is unlikely. I was warned about how the moderators/fellow members run girls off the site by making them feel like shit. I just expected better from a site that preaches self-acceptance. Thank you all for your support and I'm sorry things turned out this way.

Much love now and forever,
Tracy xo

don't click the pop up ads

So the other day I was working on my paper (thats a lie...I was playing Solitare) when out of nowhere this thing popped up saying I had 14 days to renew my virus protection. Since I wasn't even using any programs that connect to the internet (my browser, etc was closed) my stupid ass clicked it thinking it was legitimate. It was not. Luckily my next door neighbor is an IT specialist and fixed it for me but the moral of the story is don't click the damn pop up ads. No matter what. Especially the ones for porn sites. My older  brother has broken 2 computers that way. Yeah this is probably a useless blog entry because I assume ya'll are a hell of a lot smarter than me (or at least more technologically literate) but I figured I would issue this as sort of a Public Service Announcement.

Hah, and it's a damn good thing I wasn't working on my paper...that thing would've been erased. See procrastinating has it's perks; I take that as a sign from God Himself.

Why am I so awkward?

My neighbor just informed me today that I need to close the blinds in my condo because apparently she can see me walking around naked. I had no idea what to say to that. I just apologized and then pretended to hear my cell phone ringing. The thing is, it's not like I just modified my changing clothes routine (and by routine I mean I get naked and then put on clothes, very simple) so why the hell hasnt't someone else told me this like years ago when I first moved in? Jesus, I was embarrassed but a little pissed off (this woman is a complete bitch) so I made a point to change right in front of the window that faces her place today. If she complains again I'm going to make a sign that says "bite me" and hold it up while I'm prancing around the room completely naked.

Work sucks. I'm basically the legal systems bitch as an intern. I do all the shit work that no one else wants to do. My boss called me at 5 am the other morning to inform me that I needed to pick up one of the witnesses that they are flying in for this trial. Thing is, I had to be at the airport at 7 am so I literally jumped in the shower and ran out the door. I was still buttoning my shirt as I was walking to my car. I shouldn't complain though; they do pay for my school and condo after all. But in return I owe them my soul.

One of my old professors from Harvard Law is going to be in town soon and I'm excited to see him. He was kind of like my mentor when I went there. He was also the one who encouraged me to transfer, noting my tendency to think outside the box. Anyways, hope everyone is having a wonderful Wednesday and talk to you all soon :)

My weekend & Aussie boy phase

Wow. Awful title but my creativity died after I finished my trillionth paper on corporate taxation litigation.

So first, my weekend: I went to visit my sister and look for apartments with her. It was fun but incredibly stressful, as I HATE the process of moving. Plus the law firm I work for pays for my current condo so I've been incredibly spoiled in terms of living arrangements. It looks like I'm going to have to give up having a hottub on my back deck for the time being. *sigh* Anyways, Saturday night we went to Red Lobster for dinner. Those stupid commericials for endless shrimp seriously contain some subliminal messaging because it's all we could think about all day. So, as I said in my video, I took the "endless" part literally and ate an entire small colony of shrimp. The waitress was quite impressed. If you have stock in Red Lobster I apologize because I'm fairly certain I ate them out of buisiness. Friday I had two interviews at law firms down there, the first of which was exactly an hour after my plane landed. So needless to say, it was a pretty stressful day. The first one went really well I think and I got a job offer on the spot but the second one I kind of bombed because I was all flustered from running around all day and forgot the name of the law firm I worked for in NJ. Oops. Oh, and I forgot my resume. So I don't have high hopes for getting that job.

So I'm going through an Aussie boy phase. I blame Dr. Chase on House (if you don't know who he is google him and brace yourself for a mini-orgasm). Although I've always been fascinated with Australia. Last year I went through an Irish boy phase after seeing Boondock Saints 2 (quite possibly one of the greatest movies ever created). I guess I'm fairly impressionable.   But then I started dating Dillon and met his grandmother who is Irish and ALL the sex-appeal went out the window. But yeah, if you are Australian (guy or girl) and want to make me fall in love with you send me a video of you talking (tranderson8855@gmail.com).

Oh and also, I got into a very heated political discussion with the man sitting next to me on the airplane. In a way he started it by reading the New Yorker in front of me and muttering "stupid republicans and their guns." Yeah. I'm no good at keeping my mouth shut and happen to be a "stupid republican" so I asked him why he felt that way. We got into a long debate about gun control (I believe in this saying- "if we outlaw guns than only outlaws would have guns"). I mean, we outlawed drugs and how well did that work for good ol' America? Not well.

I don't want to turn this into a political rant about my views because I am sooo not articulate at the moment (law school fries your brain) and have very little idea what the heck I am even talking about.

Thanks for reading, love you all!!

1019

So I have 1019 subs on youtube. This is quite a shock. I cannot imagine there being 10 people, let alone a thousand, who want to see me ramble on while showing my growing curves. But I guess I'm wrong. So thank you all from the bottom of my heart for all the support you have given me throughout this gain. It really does mean the world to me. Expect a very interesting new youtube vid up later today.

Much love,
Tracy xo

I met my first real life FA!

So this past weekend I went out with my girlfriends to this bar (I was forced totally against my will lol) and since I wasn't planning to go out I just wore what I had on that day. Tight jeans and a white tank top. I didn't know that this particular tank top was more or less completely see through because the lighting in my condo is crap. I figured this out when I was looking at the pics my friends took from that night. ANYWAYS, I was lookin rather fat. I was really self-conscious and standing there with my arms folded across my belly when this man (who happened to be really, really hot) comes up to me and was like "hey why are you hiding your beautiful body?". I didn't know what to say so I just muttered some awkward shit and went outside to have a cigarette (I know, smoking kills, I'm trying to quit). Less than a minute later he comes outside and starts talking to me. Turns out he LIKES bigger women. Wow. This came as quite a shocker to me, as I thought FA's existed only on the internet. I don't know how that makes any sense but it does in my mind.

So this fine gentleman gave me his number and I intend to probably not call him because I'm moving and am far too busy to get involved with someone right now. Plus he was way too "metro" for me (if you don't know what that means just imagine a guy who spends just as much, or more, time getting ready than the average girl).

The moral of the story is that if I try to hide my body, I'll miss out on those who genuinely appreciate it. So who want to go streaking?!

Hah, kidding. Sort of.

CRAZY people

People are nuts. I should've realized this a long time ago but I'm a slow learner I guess. So yesterday I was at the grocery store and this lady (who had 3 kids with her) was screaming at the mentally handicapped guy who was bagging her groceries. Apparently throwing a fit is the appropriate way to react when someone puts a frozen item in with a non-frozen item. Jesus. I felt bad for the bagger who was nearly in tears so I walked up to the lady and was like "you know what, you need to cool it. What kind of example are you setting for your kids?". Yep. Me and my big mouth. She flipped out at me saying things I'm not even going to repeat on account of wanting to keep this blog fairly PG-13. But ya'll can use your imagination....

Oh, and still gettin marriage proposals. One guy in France wrote me a letter asking me what my address is so he could send me a proper greeting requesting my hand in marriage. Seriously people? Does this stuff ever work? Like I have to imagine that there are a couple people who when proposed to via the very intimate youtube network say"why of course...it's always been my dream to marry a complete stranger who I know only as one of my many online stalkers." If not, why would people keep trying?

I finished 2 of the papers I've been working on so I'm pretty psyched about that. So that means house-hunting this weekend!! I'm excited to see my sister but I HATE the process of moving. It's so stressful. Plus I own WAY to much crap. I don't know how I accumulated so much useless stuff in the 3 years I've lived in TN but it's absolutely absurd. I donated all of the clothes that no longer fit me to charity, so at least it's going to a good cause. I know this post is boring and random but I have a super-huge headache so I can't think straight. Nap time for me until class :)

A winning week

So thus far this week I have run into a door that I thought was automatic, fell up the stairs at school, drove the wrong way on a one way street (didn't get a ticket thank the lord), and accidentally sent a text to my father that was DEFINITELY not meant for him to see. So essentially the moral of this story is that I'm an incredibly awkward person. Go figure. Oh, also I was texting my friend the other day and ran straight into a parked car. I was walking, not driving obviously. I just kind of looked around and was like no one saw that (even though they all did and were looking at me like that girl is either on crack or retarded). I'm neither, just a spaz.


In other news I'm moving! I'm not saying where just yet because I don't quite know at the moment but it's a happenin'. I'm going down to look at houses next week.

I don't know if ya'll have noticed but I spell (and write) at a 3rd grade level. I have an incredibly unhealthy love-hate relationship with spell check. Love it because it allows me to pretend I'm literate and hate it because it is a constant reminder of my stupidity.I'm very smart in many ways but spelling is not one of them. So anyways I had to write a HANDWRITTEN essay for one of my classes as a test (I know, who writes things by hand anymore? Thats soooo last century). I just got it back the other day with this comment on it:

"Your literary skills are astounding for someone who spelled nearly 40 percent of the words wrong. People like you are why paralegals have a job"

Soooo, if your a paralegal, your welcome.

I think I'm officially kicked out of the cool kids club. I win.